Top Ten Zelda Dungeons

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City in the Sky, dungeon, Eagle's Tower, Forest Temple, Great Bay Temple, Shaodw Temple, Snowhead Temple, Snowpeak Ruins, Spirit Temple, Stone Tower Temple, The Legend of Zelda - A Link to the Past, The Legend of Zelda - Link's Awakening, The Legend of Zelda - Mjora's Mask, The Legend of Zelda - Ocarina of Time, The Legend of Zelda - Twilight Princess, Turtle Rock, Zelda

WARNING – THIS POST MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS

In preparation for my review of The Legend of Zelda – Ocarina of Time 3D I’ve compiled a topical top ten. Exploring the diverse and beautiful lands woven for you in the Zelda series is a joy with no equal but the real heart and soul of the games can be found in the dungeons. The innumerable dungeons spanning the Zelda series are famous for their design and atmosphere. Entering one is like stepping into another world, one overrun by dangerous monsters, and full of fiendish puzzles and Indiana Jones style adventure and mystery. Usually designed around some kind of elemental theme the dungeons often exhibit a unique conceit such as rescuing caged monkeys or adjusting the water level in a flooded fortress. The following ten stand out as the most memorable examples in the series to date in terms of clever design, addictive puzzles and immersive atmosphere. A good Zelda dungeon should transport you and amaze you. This was a tough list to compile and some great dungeons such as Ice Palace, Fire Temple, Tower of the Gods, and Arbiter’s Grounds didn’t make the cut. Here are the ten best.

10 – Turtle Rock (A Link to the Past)

The final standard dungeon of the behemoth that is A Link to the Past, still the game with the most dungeons in the series, is a suitably challenging affair that really tests your ability to keep track of your surroundings. In several rooms you must create moving platforms on rails using the Cane of Somaria and allow them to transport you to new areas. With some such courses fraught with hazards the dungeon can get pretty challenging and it’s a sizeable one with a lot of dangerous enemies. Oh, and you’d better have some green potion to replenish your magic meter because you’ll run out of magic in the blink of an eye.

9 – Eagle’s Tower (Link’s Awakening)

Link’s Awakening featured some terrific dungeons such as the head-scratching Face Shrine and the scarily-scored Key Cavern but the standout is Eagle Tower, the only dungeon in the game with multiple levels. It’s a great test of spatial awareness in which you have to work out where you are in relation to what’s on the floors above and below as you transport a heavy wrecking ball used to demolish pillars and bring half the tower down. It’s made doubly taxing when you factor in the heavy use of blocks that are raised or lowered from the floor by hitting switches which are designed obstruct your path in many places. It’s also noteworthy for featuring Kirby of all things as an invincible enemy you just have to sneak past before he can inhale you.

8 – Snowpeak Ruins (Twilight Princess)

Situated in a frozen mountainous region at the end of a giant snowboard run in Twilight Princess stands this crumbling mansion, one of the remotest and most inaccessible dungeons in the series. It stands out by subverting the form slightly and having NPCs to meet inside the battered old building in the form of a pair of friendly yetis who make their home there. The female, Yeta is sick but wants to help you find the Mirror of Twilight shard you’re looking for and gives you directions that only lead you to new ingredients to add to the soup her husband is cooking. The frozen theme of the place means you can expect plenty of slippery surfaces and icy enemies that can freeze you solid as you carry heavy cannonballs around to launch at obstacles but the most memorable thing about the place is that you’re essentially just exploring somebody’s house complete with kitchen, dining room and bedroom.

7 – Snowhead Temple (Majora’s Mask)

This brilliant dungeon, which combines fire and ice for its elemental theme, is designed around a huge central room in which a vast pillar rises up to the ceiling simultaneously blocking and opening routes in higher floors of the dungeon. It’s possible to adjust the height of the pillar by punching out fragile segments as Goron Link with whom you must make some pretty huge jumps by rolling at high speed into ramps in other places in the dungeon. Snowhead Temple gets extra points for climaxing with the most enjoyable boss in the entire series, Masked Mechanical Monster Goht whom you must pursue as Goron Link, rolling at maximum speed as you dodge various traps the boss tries to hinder you with.

6 – Great Bay Temple (Majora’s Mask)

Ocarina of Time‘s Water Temple is infamous as a confusing, tiresome labyrinth that hampers progress by necessitating frequent use of the Iron Boots and backtracking to adjust the water level despite featuring some rather clever level design and one of the best mid-level bosses ever. It’s so derided by some quarters that Grezzo made significant design choices for the interface of their 3DS remake to make the dungeon easier to manage. Lakebed Temple in Twilight Princess involved a similar theme of manipulating water by having you reroute water courses to drive water wheels and open new areas but the best aquatic themed dungeon in the series is Great bay Temple from Majora’s Mask which you can only access by riding on the back of a giant turtle. The brilliant premise of the dungeon surrounds a central room where a huge device resembling a clockwork key, power by a massive waterwheel creates an underwater whirlpool, the flow of which determines which of the many underwater passages in the room you can access. You have to explore the dungeon activating and changing more such wheels and opening passages with water pipes to find your way. Although it’s another brain-bending challenge the process is made enjoyable and, dare I say, fluid by transforming into the nimble-underwater Zora Link. This immersive and demanding dungeon is made all the more memorable for containing some unique minor bosses and a dangerous end-of-level boss.

5 – Shadow Temple (Ocarina of Time)

This is by far the scariest dungeon in the entire series thanks to its dark lighting and colour schemes, twisted music, invisible death traps and long, crushing descent. It’s quite possible to get into this dungeon without finding the Lens of Truth in the Bottom of the Well mini-dungeon but you’ll immediately be stumped by a dead end that gives you creepy messages – you need the mysterious lens to see that the wall isn’t really there. The brooding, spine-chilling soundtrack taunts you as you gradually delve deeper into what feels like a descent into the underworld complete with ferry crossing, surpassing huge, open rooms that give you a colossal sense of scale and dodging wallmaster enemies as they drop on you from above after their terrifying shadows appear with a horrible rushing noise. Scariest bit? Walking into a large, apparently empty room and marching forwards into an invisible pair of massive statues of Death revolving with their humongous scythes that shred you to pieces. The design of the dungeon isn’t the most ingenious; it’s pretty linear, but the atmosphere of dread and cool boss encounter go a long way to making this one of the most memorable dungeons in the series’ greatest game.

4 – City in the Sky (Twilight Princess)

City in the Sky is a remarkable dungeon long before you get to the main reason it’s so high on this list. Firstly, it’s a city in the sky, which, frankly, is cool enough. Home to the slightly odd Oocca people the dungeon sees you using the bird-like creatures to float around as you explore this mysterious old fortress to a somewhat unhinged soundtrack. Things get really good when you get your hands on the dungeon’s item although you might be a bit confused at first since you already found it in Lakebed Temple. City in the Sky gives you a second clawshot, Twilight Princess‘s updated version of the hookshot which allows you to shoot for another point to grab on to with one clawshot whilst already hanging from one with the other. In this way you can do a pretty effective impression of Spider-man even lowering yourself by extending the chain when hanging from a ceiling to line yourself up for the next shot. It makes for some imaginative and highly enjoyable level design and makes City in the Sky stand out as the best dungeon in the game.

3 – Spirit Temple (Ocarina of Time)

As the last standard dungeon of Ocarina of Time, Spirit Temple, the game’s most remote dungeon, found inside a colossus located at the far side of a vast desert, needed to do something truly special to not disappoint players already in raptures over the magnificent game, and it did exactly that. The twist here is that when you enter the first room your progress is impaired by a block too heavy to move in one direction and a hole too small to fit through in the other. In a game in which you’ve already failed to save the world you are forced to admit defeat and leave the dungeon. Only then will Sheik appear and teach you the melody that will allow you to warp back to the area as young Link and fit through that claustrophobic hole. Spirit Temple demands you explore it as both young and adult Link, both of which getting unique rooms to traverse against a brilliantly atmospheric background tune. The temple also features the most challenging enemies in the game and one of its most epic boss battles, not to mention a number of superb puzzles the best of which make awesome use of the Mirror Shield to deflect beams of light.

2 – Forest Temple (Ocarina of Time)

Located deep in the Lost Woods’ Sacred Forest Meadow where you learned Saria’s Song as a child, Forest Temple is the first dungeon you explore as adult Link in Ocarina of Time and it soon announces itself as the most atmospheric and mysterious not just in the game but probably the whole series. As you explore the slightly hazy temple in search of the four Poe Sisters and the flames they’ve stolen from the central room you are bewitched by a strange, echoing melody that enthrals you at every turn. The place oozes mystery and surprises with ceilings that collapse as you cross a chessboard floor, open-air gardens that mirror one another, enemies and a boss that emerge from paintings, and, best of all, twisted corridors leading to rooms with doors and treasure chests stuck to the walls waiting to be untwisted allowing you to enter said rooms from another angle. It’s a brilliantly inventive design that transports you more capably than any other in the game into the fantastical playground.

1 – Stone Tower Temple (Majora’s Mask)

Located at the top of a fortress tower designed to repel armies and only accessible by playing the Elegy of Emptiness to create multiple copies of yourself to move giant floating blocks, Stone Tower Temple is unforgettable before you’ve even set foot inside it. Once you do cross the threshold your fist question is ‘why is the tile that transports you to the boss room on the ceiling?’ It’s a running theme as you soon notice treasure chests glued upside down above you and doors that don’t reach the floor. The open-air temple fells like an epic, imposing place as you traverse it, filled with puzzles that test you in every way, forcing you to use all of your transformation masks and make varied use of your items throughout but after you discover the Light Arrow by beating the very cool Garo Master mid-level boss you are cued to take a step outside the dungeon and use the new weapon to blast a red emblem and turn the whole place upside down. It’s an unadulterated joy to explore the temple a second time inverted in this way. Mysteriously the dungeon isn’t flipped over like a pancake but translated like a mirror image meaning the map for both versions is the same asymetrical shape. Nintendo have made the most of the concept; rooms in the normal temple feature pools of lava, the same rooms in the inverted dungeon drip the red hot liquid from the ceiling. Some rooms are completely unrecognisable, one such that’s waterlogged the first time round seems to have dumped its water out of the open roof in the inverted version. You can even repeat the trick by using light arrows to turn Death Armos enemies upside down, rendering them helpless. After a long, complicated search for all of the stray fairies and an awesome battle with Gomess, a minor boss that can only be described as a manic grim-reaper who wears a cloak of bats, you eventually find your way to the boss chamber. The entrance is in the same room where you fought the Garo Master. A circular opening in the ceiling that gave way to the heavens becomes nothing but a hole to jump into in the inverted dungeon leading to a huge desert where you fight the biggest boss in the entire series, in fact you fight two of them. These double bosses, Giant Masked Insect Twinmold which can only be fought if you turn into a giant with the Giant’s Mask, found in the temple after beating a lethal Eyegore monster. Stone Tower Temple has everything, an epic journey to reach it, a cool background tune, tough enemies, challenging puzzles, deep exploration and a fantastic central theme. It takes its place as the best, most inventive and downright most enjoyable dungeon in the Zelda series.

Book Review: The Bellmaker – Brian Jacques

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Brian Jacques, Dandin, Joseph, Mariel, Redwall, The Bellmaker

It’s amazing how long it’s taken me to get through this book, a direct sequel to Mariel of Redwall considering it’s one of the shortest books in the Redwall series. I guess that’s what happens when you’re as busy as I’ve been lately.

Mariel and Dandin have left Redwall Abbey in search of adventure in the lands to the south, a journey which takes them to Southsward, a beautiful green land where the rightful rulers Gael Squirrelking and Queen Serena of Castle Floret have been usurped by Urgan Nagru the Foxwolf and his mate Silvamord, commanders of a vicious army of rats. Before they know what’s what Mariel and Dandin find themselves embroiled in the struggle against Nagru and along with tall-tale spinning Meldrum the Magnificent, one of the series’ most entertaining military hares, end up prisoners in the huge plateau-top castle.

Meanwhile at Redwall Abbey Mariel’s father Joseph the Bellmaker is visited in a dream by Martin the Warrior who gives him cryptic instructions to set sail for the south with a handful of Abbeydwellers to aid in the struggle against the Foxwolf. On their way they meet up with salty sea otter Finnbarr Galedeep and help him repossess his ship, the Pearl Queen, from a double crew of searats. A third story arc follows Slipp, the searat captain in charge of the Pearl Queen before Finnbarr’s reclamation of the ship and his lackey Blaggut who travel to Redwall in a story that introduces some rare shades of grey to the series’ villainy.

The Bellmaker is possibly the fastest paced and most thrilling book in the canon interweaving three tightly plotted stories that never waste a chapter meaning that there’s scarcely a dull moment. Marial and Dandin’s side of the tale in particular is a non-stop thrill-a-minute romp with two thirds of their plot given to an absolutely epic escape sequence. Southsward itself and Castle Floret especially make for pretty vivid settings. The ocean bound journey with Joseph and Finnbarr never lets up with one thrilling sequence proving nigh-on unforgettable. Slipp and Blaggut’s side of things is more dramatic than action packed but still represents one of the more interesting vermin stories in the series. Only the main villain fails to really impress, Foxwolf is a typically nasty baddie but offers little we haven’t already seen many times from Jacques.

Verdict

It might not be as brilliantly rounded as the very best the series has to offer but The Bellmaker nonetheless represents the most efficient and varied adventure storytelling in a series not known for its frequent reinvention. A real Redwall highlight and a superior sequel.

Film Review: Green Lantern

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Green Lantern, Ryan Reynolds

The wonderful thing about having a Cineworld Unlimited card is that it does away with that feeling of regret you get when having spent nearly ten quid on a film that turned out to be rubbish. It also helps you make a positive decision when you’re not sure about going to see a film. So it was with Green Lantern, one of DC’s second tier superhero franchises making the jump to the big screen. The reviews have been very average, it looked average, I went and saw it anyway, it was average, but at least I didn’t have to pay.

Green Lantern was always going to be a film playing catch up with the bigger name superhero flicks. Unless you’re into the comic scene chances are you may not have heard of the franchise or even if you have you won’t be knowledeable about the mythos surrounding the character. In simple terms Green Lantern is all about the Green Lantern Corps, a kind of cosmic police force created by the Guardians of the Universe who harness the power fo will using lanterns and rings to fight evil. One such Green Lantern warrior is mortally wounded by Parallax, a nightmarish cloud of starbound evil that feeds on fear, and crashes on Earth where his ring seeks out someone to replace him as the guardian of his sector of the universe. The ring chooses the reluctant Hal Jordan (Ryan Reynolds), a test pilot struggling to let go after his father’s death doing the same job years earlier.

It’s an origin story obviously and is therefore bound by necessary plot conventions but it lacks all the wonder and excitement of the genres best attempts. Reynolds is a bit of a cardboard cutout superhero absent of the charm and humanity of a Toby Maguire or Christian Bale. He plays a cocky tool with boring dead dad issues and can’t coax us into rooting for him but it’s not all his fault given the mediocre script. None of his relationships have any spark or even make much contextual sense and his jounrey to becoming the Green Lantern lacks weight. The supporting cast are all fairly forgetable, even the likes of Mark Strong and Tim Robbins who don’t convince they were that into it. There are some okay action pieces such as an early jetfighter dogfight and some of the training scenes where Jordan learns to use his ring to create weapons is fun but still feels restrained. I would have liked to see the writers really cut loose and let their imaginations go nuts and create some showstopping set pieces, after all the rings are limited only by what the wielder can imagine. The film relies heavily on CG which is at times technically excellent but lacks soul and tend to swamp the visuals.

Ultimately the poor script, dull story and lazy characterisation add up to a pretty dire film. Comic enthusiasts and fans will probably want to see how the franchise stacks up against the heavyweights but if you’re looking for an entertaining and engaging superhero movie check out X-Men First Class instead.

Verdict

A half-hearted attempt to bring a lesser known license to a moviegoing audience that has brief moments of quality but can’t stand shoulder to shoulder with the best in the genre.

E3 Report 2011

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3DS, DS, E3, Kid Icarus Uprising, Luigi's Mansio 2, Mario Kart 3D, Nintendo, Star Fox 64 3D, Super Mario 3D, The Legend of Zelda - Skyward Sword, Wii, Wii U

Another E3 has come and gone and as usual the video game industry’s foremost event where developers and journalists gather to show off and play the newest hardware and software was not short of talking points.

Being a massive Nintendo fanboy I will, of course, be focusing on Nintendo’s showing but it would be remiss of me not to give some mention to Microsoft and Sony so here goes. Microsoft was the first hardware manufacturer to take to the big stage and although their press conference featured the news that the Halo franchise is returning with a remake of the original game and an all new trilogy including a teaser trailer for Halo 4 a lot of the online reaction to the company’s performance was pretty negative.  I didn’t see the conference but it seems the company disappointed its fans by concentrating on casual games for its Kinect hardware. I did, however, watch Sony’s press conference live and the PlayStation manufacturers seemed to do rather better. The president of Sony Computer Entertainment of America, Jack Tretton opened the brief with a sincere and admirable apology to Sony fans for the PlayStation Network’s well-publicised outage. With that necessary issue neatly handled the focus shifted to the company’s upcoming handheld hardware and successor to the PSP. The handheld’s new name PlayStation Vita was announced and a number of games that exploit its nifty technology were demonstrated. The revelation that AT&T would handle the machine’s telecommunications was met with an amusing smattering of boos but when the competitive price of $249 was greeted warmly when it was announced. What the conference lacked was big announcements. With the exception of Sly 4 the conference had little for the hardcore gamer to get excited about in an E3 uncharacteristically devoid of big surprises.

Nintendo’s was the last big press conference taking place on the Tuesday morning in LA. It was known long before the show that the company would be unveiling its new console to replace the Wii and rumours had been swimming around the net for weeks speculating what it could do, the most convincing of which suggested the new controller would feature a sizeable touch screen making it vaguely reminiscent of the Dreamcast controller.

The conference opened with a great musical tribute to the Zelda series for its 25th anniversary. A live orchestra played a medley of classic tunes from the series while a montage of clips from the games played on the big screen culminating in the first showing of the newest trailer of Skyward Sword. Zelda remained the focus of the show and we were told of Nintendo’s plans to celebrate the anniversary detailing plans for a series of concerts dedicated to the series and revealing that The Legend of Zelda – Four Swords will be made available as a free download for the 3DS. Nintendo’s new handheld took centre stage after that and we were given a taste of the big first party franchises upcoming for the system including Star Fox 64 3D, Kid Icarus Uprising, Mario Kart 3D and most importantly Super Mario 3D as well as revealing Luigi’s Mansion 2 for the first time.

Nintendo saved their biggest news for the end and their new HD console, dubbed Wii U was finally showcased. As rumoured the console does feature a large touch screen in a design that resembles an iPad. The new controller also features forward facing cameras, a gyroscope, a microphone and a traditional button setup including two circle pads, D-Pad, four face buttons, two shoulder buttons and two triggers. We were given a fair amount of detail regarding what can be achieved with this system such as the possibility of switching gameplay from the TV to the controller screen, a feature useful for when someone wants to use the TV for something else whilst you’re playing. We were given a few tech demos and a promising list of big third party titles in development for the system including Batman Arkham City, Assassin’s Creed and Dirt but there was nothing on any first party titles except that Masahiro Sakurai’s team will soon begin work on a pair of new Smash Bros. games for both Wii U and 3DS. We didn’t get a clear idea of the machine’s specs either. There was some confusion among the watching public regarding the showing as Nintendo showed nothing of the actual console during its briefing leading many to mistakenly believe that the Wii U was nothing but a new controller but Nintendo officially released shots of the console itself after the show to allay these fears.

It was a good show, maybe the strongest of the three but it wasn’t as good as last year, nowhere near. I was hoping for more big game announcements for new and existing consoles but Nintendo chose to leave its announcements until after the show. The promise of new Kirby games for both Wii and DS were quietly shown alongside Mario Party 9 and a similar looking game called Fortune Street that matches Mario characters with Square Enix ones. The best news was the confirmation of Pikmin 3 for the Wii U but I was hoping to see a new Star Fox or Fire Emblem or at least news that the newest Fire Emblem game for the DS will see release outside of Japan. Most frustratingly though we still don’t have any news on a new F-Zero game. Nintendo’s futuristic racer is one of their best and most consistently excellent franchises, my favourite after Mario, Zelda, Metroid and Fire Emblem and we haven’t seen a new entry in the series in ages.

So what about the Wii U? I’m cautiously excited. The name is pretty bad but the tech is highly intriguing. Nintendo’s demos caused quite a stir by showcasing some of the possibilities for the new controller. Since the show we’ve gained a bit more information about the console. It seems each one will probably only support one of the new controllers with existing Wii controllers necessary for multiplayer games. The console won’t play DVDs or BluRays but, we’re promised, will feature a much more robust online setup. There are some concerns regarding the timing of the console since rumours regarding the specs suggest it will be roughly on a par with the PS3 and Xbox 360 although some sources claim it will outstrip them a fair amount. Either way Nintendo could still find themselves lagging behind in the hardware stakes if either Sony or Microsoft decide to one-up them in the near future. Still, the prospect of Nintendo franchises in HD is too good to ignore, a point most obviously shown by an HD Zelda demo. The demo is not that of a new game in development but an example of what the series might look like in HD. It featured an interactive movie of Link fighting a giant spider that allowed the player to alter things like lighting in real time. We’ll have to keep our eyes on the Wii U as we near its release next year.

In terms of software the 3DS was at the centre of attention for Nintendo with its big names attracting plenty of praise. Super Mario 3D is looking great mixing some of the conventions of Super Mario Bros. 3 with the design ethic of Super Mario Galaxy. The fixed camera limits the sense of freedom found in Mario’s non-stereoscopic 3D games so far but Nintendo have always put plenty of effort into their mascot’s games so it should be great. Mario Kart 3D looks like a fairly typical game for the series except for a few additions. Your kart will become a glider when making big jumps and gains a propeller when underwater as well as featuring the option to swap different machine parts. Let’s hope Nintendo gives the title a deeper one-player mode than the series is known for too. Star Fox 64 3D is looking great as the second big N64 remake to hit the system and the announcement of Luigi’s Mansion 2, though not what I most wanted still looks like a fun follow-up to a fine title.

The star of the show for me was undoubtedly The Legend of Zelda – Skyward Sword. The Wii was given very little attention at the show but this last big release still yielded plenty of praise and has me very excited. The new trailer is great, finally giving us a look at Link’s world above the clouds. Skyloft is a fair bit smaller than I was hoping but it looks like an interesting community and the bird riding gameplay looks a lot more fun than Wind Waker‘s sailing. At the this stage it bears a striking resemblance to Skies of Arcadia. I can’t tell you how happy this makes me. The new trailer featured the same theme tune as before, the same music from the last trailer, which, it was discovered a few weeks ago, is actually Zelda’s lullaby backwards. Zelda herself features in the trailer, playing the part of Link’s childhood friend as she did in Minish Cap. Her new design resembles her character art for A Link to the Past and I have to say she’s adorable. We also were given a first proper look at the new villain, Lord Ghihiram who featured in a gameplay demo on the show floor. He seems an interesting baddie at this point perhaps filling the same role as Zant in Twilight Princess. We were also given an idea of the game’s structure. It seems the line between dungeon and overworld will be blurred in this game and the story will see you revisiting dungeons (which I called). It’s looking brilliant, the stylised graphics may lack technical greatness but they’re lovely to look at nonetheless and by all accounts the Motion Plus swordplay is fantastic. The game looks set to eclipse Twilight Princess which suffered from a lack of defining features. Hopefully Nintendo will give it the same depth and originality of Majora’s Mask. We can only wait and see.

So that’s how E3 2011 panned out. It wasn’t the best show we’ve seen down the years but it certainly had its moments. We’ll wait and see what Nintendo does with its new hardware and keep a close eye on its games until we return to LA next year.

Review Roundup

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3D Classics Excitebike, 3DS, Kung Fu Panda 2, Mega Drive, Nintendo, Sega, Sonic & Knuckles, Sonic 3, X-Men First Class

It’s all been happenning lately. Little Bear rehearsals are in full swing and half of my time has been focused on rehearsals, costume hunting and line-learning while the other half has seen me glued to the internet and the reports coming in from Los Angeles and E3. My report on Nintendo’s performance at the world’s foremost interactive entertainment event is on the way, as is The Legend of Zelda – Ocarina of Time 3D, which has me quivering with anticipation. All this has distracted me from this blog somwhat and I’m well behind in my reviewing so once again it’s time for me to apologetically cram several into one post, starting with the films.

X-Men First Class

X-Men, a superhero property I’ve always had a soft spot for, has seen its share of highs and lows on the big screen but this neat reboot comfortably registers as a high. Removing to a 1960s cold war setting First Class is a textbook prequel that chronicles the meeting of Charles Xavier and Erik Lehnsherr, aka Professor X and Magneto, one of superhero comics’ foremost pairs of frenemies. Xavier (James McAvoy) is an authority on mutation a subject of particular interest to him since he possesses telepathic powers. His expertise draws the attention of the CIA who are on the tail of ex-Nazi Sebastian Shaw (Kevin Bacon) who is also a target for Lehnsherr (Michael Fassbender), a holocaust survivor possessing the power to create magnetic fields out to wreak vengeance on the man who murdered his mother. Xavier saves Lehsherr from killing himself in pursuit of his goal and the two gradually form an unlikely friendship as they scout for mutants to join the CIA’s super secret new Division-X. Meanwhile Shaw, a mutant-supremacist commanding the ability to absorb energy plots to insite nuclear war by orchestrating the Cuban missile crisis. This dip into history lends the film a strong sense of tension and authenticity, a perfect fit for the franchise. The film’s greatest strength, surprisingly, is comedy, featuring highly amusing recruitment and training montages, great in-jokes and a perfectly judged cameo. James McAvoy appears to have a lot more fun than his reported grumblings about the script would suggest and Kevin Bacon gives a smirkingly sinister turn as the near-invincible Shaw. There are some complaints, the first few scenes don’t fit togehter very well, there are plot holes all over the place and one reel seemed to be missing a whole heap of subtitles rendering scenes in Russian a bit hard to follow but the action, characterisation, humour and acting lift the experience irriesistibly.

Kung Fu Panda 2

Animated flicks about talking animals are ten-a-penny and always have been but Dreamworks’ action-packed martial arts comedy about Panda Po’s Kung Fu misadventures stood out from the crowd for its incredible fight sequences and nicely balanced comedy. This sequel looks to make lightning strike twice as Po and the Furious Five are pitted against Lord Shen, a villainous peacock intent on destroying the world of Kung Fu, cue the necessary frantic action sequences and pratfalls. Once again Dreamworks have found their mark combining thrills and laughs. The set pieces are bigger and bolder and the story more interesting as Po struggles with flashbacks of his childhood and finally gets round to questioning why his dad is a goose. Every bit as entertianing as the first film the film rattles along at a breakneck pace full of slapstick and lightning punches while setting itself up for an intriguing threequel.

Sonic 3 (Mega Drive)

The third entry in the blue blur’s superb early series is every bit as good as its predecessors, sending you through another half dozen brilliantly designed zones varying from the tropical Angel Island to the frozen Ice Cap. It was the fastest Sonic game to date but, like all the great early titles didn’t get carried away with the speed and slowed Sonic down for some challenging, slower platform jumping sections. Its this intelligent balance between fast-paced thrills and refined precision. The game introduced some wlecome new elements such as three different shield upgrades that would grant Sonic cool new abilities and an addictive new isometric psuedo-3D special stage design that saw you tracking down blue spheres, not to mention this was the first time you could manually fly (and swim) as Tails. It was perhaps disappointingly short and the ending a bit underwhelming following Sonic the Hedgehog 2 but it made up for it with the series’ most bombasic visuals and best soundtrack to date.

9.4

out of 10

Sonic & Knuckles (Mega Drive)

The content created for Sonic 3 turned out to be too much for a single release so Sega did something a bit different with its fourth entry in the series released in the same year as the third. With all the missing zones restored Sonic & Knuckles also came on a unique cartridge that allowed you to plug Sonic 3 into it thereby unlocking Sonic 3 & Knuckles, a combination of the two games that allowed you to play through them as one for the most epic and rewarding Sonic experience ever. Not only did the game feature Knuckles as a playable character for the first time but it also boasted the best and most atmospheric level design in the series so far such as the fungal Mushroom Hill Zone and the desert themed Sandopolis Zone complete with its intense, haunted second act. The game built to the franchise’s biggest climax ever with a secret final zone unlockable for collecting all the Chaos Emeralds. This was the peak of Sonic’s once-illustrious career.

9.5

out of 10

3D Classics Excitebike

With the Nintendo 3DS eShop finally up and running Nintendo have made the first in a new line of old classics enhanced by the system’s stereoscopic 3D available. For a limited time the title is free to download making the title hard not to recommend at least for a while. Excitebike, an early NES title that has seen a handful of re-releases down the years, is a racing sim in which you must negotiate tricky linear courses against the clock or other racers. To succeed you must master changing lanes to avoid hazards performing wheelies to give you the best angle for jumps, using your turbo to give yourself the right amount of lift and angling your bike to land smoothly. It’s a tricky and often intense challenge that retro gamers will lap up. The rather basic visuals are complimented by the 3D well enough although the feature adds little to the gameplay. The sound and design are decidedly retro and the game represents an engaging if not compelling challenge but there’s really very little of it. Worth a download while it’s free but only those with fond memories of the original should consider paying for it.

6.9

out of 10

Game Review: The Legend of Zelda (NES)

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adventure, Ganon, Link, Nintendo, Shigeru Miyamoto, The Legend of Zelda, Zelda

E3 is mere days away, Nintendo is about to reveal its next home console, The Legend of Zelda – Skyward Sword is sure to feature heavily in its Wii showcase, The Legend of Zelda – Ocarina of Time 3D is less than two weeks away from release and there are rumours of some special reveal for Zelda’s 25th anniversary. This is the most exciting time of the year for gamers and this year is Zelda’s year. I’m pumped to say the least and with all this Zelda focus it was high time I got round to ticking another task off my video game to do list, finally completing the original, brilliant, pioneering, influential The Legend of Zelda.

Having never owned an NES my first opportunity to play this game came in the Gamecube era with the promotional release of The Legend of Zelda – Collector’s Edition, which featured the two NES and two N64 titles in the series as well as a demo of Wind Waker. The disc was not available to buy except with a new Gamecube bundle but you could qualify for a free copy by purchasing one of a designated list of Nintendo published titles in the month of January 2004 and sending your receipt to the Nintendo Service Centre. So keen to play both the original and its sequel, Zelda II – The Adventure of Link that I saved up my pocket money and bought a copy of 1080 Snowboarding, a game I rather wanted anyway, on the 31st of that January. Like many NES games The Legend of Zelda is rock hard and I never managed to complete it until now. So, 25 years after its release, it’s time for me to review the opening chapter in my favourite video game series.

Just a note before we begin – I have now decided to rate games in seven different areas of creation instead of six. Joining presnetatio, gameplay, graphics, sound, difficulty and longevity is design. For this category I will look at every aspect of design from visuals to levels and characters to structure, an area too important to ignore any longer and one The Legend of Zelda excels in.

This, the first game in one of the most popular and consistently brilliant video game series of all time, was released in 1986 for the Nintendo Entertainment System. The masterpiece of Mario and Donkey Kong creator and all-round icon Shigeru Miyamoto is still considered one of the most important games ever made. It was the first game to feature a top-down open world design that encouraged free exploration over a linear succession of side-scrolling levels, the first to focus on permanent equipment upgrades, the first to feature an alternative second quest and the first to allow players to save their progress, an essential feature given its considerable length and difficulty.

You are Link, a charcter so named by his creator because he saw him as the link between the player and the game, the real world and the virtual world, the agent of escape and a hero any player can project themselves onto. The setting is the fantastical land of Hyrule which has become overrun by monsters. The evil pig-like tyrant Ganon seeks the Triforce to assert his domination over the world and took Princess Zelda prisoner, gaining the Triforce of Power in the process. Before he could take control of the Triforce of Wisdom however Zelda broke it into eight pieces which she hid in eight dungeons across the land. To face Ganon and rescue Zelda you must traverse the world and its dungeons and reassemble the Triforce of Wisdom so you can gain access to the final alir where the villain awaits.

Octoroks recur in almost every game in the series.

The overworld of Hyrule was a revelation in 1986. It’s a massive, brightly coloured world to explore packed with secrets and perils divided into dozens of screens which can be navigated by moving to the edge of the screen and scrolling to the next. Starting out with nothing but a shield you are dropped into this dangerous world and invited to find you rown way with very few hints. There’s a sense of adventure that few other games of the time could match, an atmosphere created in part by the triumphant overworld theme, the series’ recurring signature tune and an absolutely iconic piece of music.

The enemies are many and varied from stone spitting Octoroks to deadly centar-like Lynels. Enemeis can be defeated in a number of ways, most obviously by swinging your sword, which is permanently mapped to the A button once you’ve obtained it. When at full health you can even shoot sword beams across the screen for long-range takedowns. As you progress and discover caves where you can buy equipment from NPCs and dungeons where new gear lies waiting for you, your arsenal increases, widening your options. These weapons are used with the B button. You have to pause the game to swap out your choices.

Dungeons are moody and sinister.

One of the most useful weapons is the boomerang which you can aim at enemies to kill or more commonly paralyse them, an indespensible strategy. Then there’s the self-explanatory bow, another series staple which fans of the series who have never played the original might be surprised to learn isn’t that useful since firing arrows actually depletes your rupees, the currency of Hyrule, instead of a dedicated supply of arrows. Those rupees, little blue gems, are occasionally left by downed enemies but are too scarce to waste given how much you’ll need them to buy life restoring potions and other items. The other famously recurring weapon beginning with B is the bomb which can be used to defeat enemies but has a more important purpose in blowing holes in walls to open secret caves or progress through dungeons. You can only carry eight but the capacity can be increased if you have enough cash. Other weapons include the candle which will illuminate dark rooms as well as burn monsters. Many of these items can be upgraded for better versions, the magical boomerang for example can reach the far edge of the screen which the basic model can’t. You can also increase your life capacity, an essential pursuit given the game’s punishing difficulty. New hearts can be obtained in a handful of locations in the overworld or for defeating a dungeon boss.

The overworld is one thing but those dungeons are something else. You enter through a door and it’s like stepping into another world, gloomy and enclosed compared to the bright, open overworld. It’s deeply atmospheric, even slightly scary and again its the music that makes it so, a dark, brodding dirge that really builds the tension. Each room is packed with enemies and light puzzles involving pushing blocks and finding keys to locked doors. This is where the game really gets hard and the enemies you encounter exclusively in dungeons are the reason whether you’re facing off against shield-eating Like-likes or heavily armoured Darknuts. Then there are the bosses which are big and scary, often requiring multiple sword strikes to fell. Although the dungeons are arranged in a numerical order the open-ended nature of the game’s design allows you to tackle them in nearly any order. Some dungeons are located in parts of the map that can’t be accessed until you’ve acquired a particular item from another dungeon so you aren’t completely free to pick you’re route but this is still an unprecedented level of freedom. Whatever order you choose to take on the dungeons the sense of achievement at conquering one is simply wonderful.

The game isn't shy about bombarding you with enemies.

The graphics are excellent on the whole given how early in the life cycle of the NES the game was released. They don’t stand tremendously well next to later releases such as Super Mario Bros. 3 but still conveyed a varied and engaging world. The use of colour is important and gives life to the terrain. Forest areas feature mazes of green trees, the graveyard is saturated by greys and whites, the mountains are rocky and brown. The dungeons too are colour coded. The enemy design really stands out, the mosters are imaginative and easily distinguishable, again colour playing an important role with blue variants uniformly togher than weaker red counterparts. Occassionally the game suffers slowdown when many enemies and projectiles are on screen but it’s only every now and then.

The Legend of Zelda is a huge and challenging title, packed with replay value and the dizzying propect of a second quest featuring redesigned and much tougher dungeons after you’ve defeated Ganon once. In 1986 it was an incredible package one of the best games ever made and its legacy speaks for itself inspiring a long-running and critically acclaimed series and innumerable imitators. But the original remains a brilliantly playable solo experience to this day. The graphics may be well out of date and the ability to move in only four directions instead of eight fells a bit restrictive these days but that doesn’t mean it’s aged badly. It’s an awesome retro experience and it’s available on the Wii’s Virtual Console so there’s no excuse not to try it especially if you’re a Zelda fan. Be warned though in an era where objectives are signposted and challenge is often dialled down for wider accessibility you may have difficulty getting into it and making succesful progress. That said the internet had plenty of maps and guides to refer to and the sense of satidfaction at beating a game of this quality isn’t diminished. Only the poor translation of some of the game’s text remains a blight. That’s the sound of the bottom of the barrel being scraped for criticisms.

Presentation – 8

A simple story that evokes classic fantasy and intelligent integration of features. Translation is a bit off though.

Design – 10

Original and superb in every respect.

Gameplay – 10

Intuitive and full of variety featuring tight, intelligent controls and an engaging interface. Truly inspirational.

Graphics – 8

Great on their time but showing their age somewhat. Colour is well used.

Sound – 10

Sound effects do the job well enough but it’s the music that takes a starring role. A soundtrack of only a handful of tunes but one that is rightly regarded as an all-time classic.

Difficulty – 10

A combination of dangerous enemies and the lack of clear directions make this a seriously tough nut to crack. Only the most determined players will complete this without guidance.

Longevity – 10

One of the most massive games ever made at the time and that’s before we consider the second quest.

Verdict

It’s no accident that we’re expecting this game’s 14th sequel in this it’s 25th anniversary year. Nintendo trailblazed an enduring formula full of potential for expansion in their early masterpiece. It retains its masterful quality a quarter of a century on. An unyieldingly brilliant interactive experience.

9.6

out of 10

Film Review: The Hangover Part II

Tags

Bradley Cooper, comedy, Ed Helms, The Hangover Part II, Zach Galifianakis

By the time AntBuoy and I reached the cinema X-Men First Class had already sold out so we were left with only one option, this sequel to the huge 2009 comedy hit The Hangover. I went into this one at a bit of a disadvantage having never seen the first film but I was reliably assured that Part II repeats the same plot and uses many of the same jokes.

Stu’s getting married, to a Thai bride no less, but he’s determined not to experience a repeat of the gang’s Las Vegas bachelor party. Phil manages to convince him to invite Alan to Thailand and the trio are charged with looking after Teddy, Stu’s soon-to-be brother-in-law. A nice, straightforward evening of one beer on the beach escalates into anything but and the guys wake up in a seedy Bangkok hotel room unable to remember the night before during which they managed to acquire a monkey and lose almost all of Teddy. Cue highjinks and craziness as the trio desperately try to track Teddy down before Stu’s wedding.

I probably got more out of this than anyone who has seen the first film. The characters, concept and style of comedy was new to me and the endless recycling of jokes didn’t matter much. Suffice to say you can expect animal antics, uber camp criminals, gross-out nastiness and a certain sportsman making a cameo. It’s silly and strangely endearing but far from a revelation in comedy. The set up is painfully slow, most of the early jokes fall flat and if your experience is anything like mine you’ll have a hard time liking the extremely obnoxious Alan. This one requires some patience.

The payoff comes once the hangover itself begins and we get into some shenanigans. It’s pacy and amusing but you never quite fell like you’re watching a high level of comedy. I guess lightning doesn’t strike twice. There are some interesting good bits, like a flashback involving some amazingly accurate mini-me lookalikes and one scene in a strip joint will have you squirming but most of it is fairly forgetable. The players generally do a decent job, Ed Helms desperate exasperation is pretty funny and whether or not you like Alan, Zach Galifianakis’ characterisation is on the money. Bradley Cooper has less to do but manages to hold it all togther.

No doubt just as many people will hate this one as love it. AntBuoy hated it, a lot of the audience in our screening clearly loved it. If you’re a fan of the original you’ll no doubt want to give it a look and if the repetition doesn’t bother you no doubt you’ll enjoy it. Of course if you don’t have a taste for low-brow comedy this will do nothing for you. Perhaps the best compliment I can pay this sequel though is that it has made me want to watch the original.#

Verdict

A film that employs an ‘if it ain’t broke don’t fix it’ mentality with mixed results. There’s plenty of entertainment value here but this is no super sequel.

Little Bear Wefund Appeal

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Ception Theatre, Little Bear, Wefund

This is a message for all philanthropists and theatre-lovers. Myself and my good friends, Antbuoy and Astarico are the founders of Ception Theatre and we’re trying to raise funds for our new show Little Bear.

Written by AntBuoy, Little Bear is a dark fairytale about a little girl who wakes up in a mysterious forest trapped in perpetual night. She learns that the origin of this enchantment is a feud between a hunter and a sorceress, the two ancient guardians of the wood. She must choose which of them to help in order to bring the night to an end and all the while searches for a way to save her dying sister. It’s a family show which will be performed at the International Youth Arts Theatre in Kingston and then at the Camden Fringe.

We have our cast (I’m Jaeger, the hunter) and rehearsals have begun but we need funds to help us get the show up and running. We have an important meeting with potential investors coming up but we have to rely on generous donations from the public as well.

If you have any interest in theatre, like the sound of Little Bear and would like to contribute please go to http://www.wefund.co.uk/project/little-bear where you can find more information and pledge a donation. Your support will be HUGELY appreciated.

Film Review: Hanna

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Cate Blanchett, Eric Bana, Hanna, Saoirse Ronan

AntBuoy and I faced a dilemma as we entered West India Quay Cineworld on this occasion. With X-Men First Class and Kung Fu Panda 2 not yet out we were torn between The Hangover Part 2 and Hanna. We decided to leave it up to the person selling us our tickets who had only seen Hanna but pointed out that The Hangover had only just arrived in cinemas while Hanna was about to disappear from them. Hanna it was.

For once AntBuoy and I differed in our opinion. He thought it was an unfocused mess that didn’t know what it was trying to be, an argument I can fully understand but I found it entertaining nonetheless.

Hanna is a golden-haired snow white teen raised in a frozen wilderness to be a flawless killer and survival expert. Her father (Eric Bana) fills her head with facts but no emotion until she’s ready to enter the real world. The two depart agreeing on a rendezvous point, Hanna is captured and promptly escapes and hooks up with a travelling British family in Morocco. Meanwhile an iron-willed CIA agent (a heftily-accented Cate Blanchett) recruits some German toughs to track the girl down.

This one falls quite comfortably into the category of ‘offbeat thriller’. It’s Jason Bourne through a fairytale kaleidoscope. The Brothers Grimm and their stories are referenced frequently and the film is full of oddballs and colourful characters. Hanna meanwhile is a convincing and engaging action heroine. She’s Hit Girl minus the potty mouth and very much a fish out of water, reeling off the statistics of a fictitious identity to the first non-threatening stranger she meets like a POW reciting name rank and serial number. Saoirse Ronan is an engaging screen presence, ghostly and wide-eyed, a mix of clever editing and choreography helping her to convince in the action stakes.

It’s an eclectic mix of action, comedy and surreal expression and it never does what you expect it to do but the various elements don’t quite gel into a wholly cohesive experience. The action is consistently fast and frantic, including some very impressive long takes and set to a thumping Chemical Brothers soundtrack and many of the misfit characters will find fans but the plot is extremely loose, what twists there are fall flat and there are plenty of holes. Another mixed bag then but you could do a lot worse for sure.

Verdict

An interesting mix-up of styles and genres that doesn’t quite succeed but at least offers something different.